Have you considered adding a co-host or other partnership to your business or podcast? If you have been considering adding another head and heart into the mix, this is a great episode to listen to! Balancing mental health, expectations, and a business or podcast are very important to Jen and Jenny Lynne, the two great voices and minds behind Holding Down the Fort podcast. In Episode 126 of the Moments with an MEO podcast is all about co-hosting and business partnerships with the co-hosts of Holding Down the Fort podcast, Jen Amos and Jenny Lynne.
In this episode, we chat about:
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Jen Amos 0:00
If you're a quote unquote nice person to honor your boundaries and pick up early on if you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, and fortunately for Jenny Lynn, and I feel like we've had a very mutual reciprocal relationship. Well,
Jenny Lynne Stroup 0:15
I mean, let's let's be honest about how we both got to the I mean, again, we talked about mental health a lot like you and I have put in the work like, yeah, let it be said that a partnership is only as good as the two individuals and Jen and I put in the work.
So welcome, Jen, and Jenny Lynn, I am so excited because I was just on your guys's podcast. And now you guys are gonna be on our podcast. And I am so stoked.
Jenny Lynne Stroup 0:46
Thanks for having us. Yeah, well, what a treat.
Why don't we start with you, Jen, can you just give us a brief introduction of who you are for our listeners?
Jen Amos 0:55
Yeah, so I am a Goldstar. Daughter. And if you're hearing that for the first time, it means that you, you know, lost a family member while they were on active duty or an immediate family member. And for me, that was my dad, he served in the 80s and 90s. And unfortunately, he had gotten missing and see. So our lives quickly catapulted into civilian life. 20 plus years later, not thinking I would ever get involved in the military, despite my mom always convincing me to join the military after college, because she was like, Oh, well, you got your Bachelor's like if you join the military, you could be an officer. And I'm like, Mom, do you remember what happened to our family? Do you remember having a dead? But anyway, I ended up meeting my husband. He was introduced to me as a client at the time. I promise doesn't happen all the time with my clients back then. But yeah, we just really hit it off very quickly, our lives integrated. And you know, fast forward to today, we work together, focused on career military families, and helping them better understand such such military benefits, like the Survivor Benefit Plan. And part of what led me to starting hold now before was to get a pulse of what the community is like today, because again, I was 20 years removed. So yeah, that's a little background on me.
I love it. And Jenny Lynn, what's your story?
Jenny Lynne Stroup 2:07
I grew up in a military area. I grew up in Hampton Roads, but I was a civilian. So it was my whole family and the military was the thing over there that was great for those people, but we were not those people. You know, fast forward to my early 20s. I have a good Navy love story. Like 90% of us I met my husband in a bar, where we meet a lot of sailors love I know, he was out with his friends. He was brand new to his first duty station in Virginia Beach, I was out with a couple of my friends we met and hit it off. And we've been together, gosh, together 14 years married for 12. Now, I have been with him almost his whole career. Like I said, Virginia Beach was his first duty station. I've seen him go from enlisted to officer, you know, we've traveled all around the country and gone to duty stations near and far. And here, you know, now I work in the military mental health space. That's my my real job. And I love it. And I would not be there were it not for my own family's experience with the military.
Absolutely. Now, Jen, I know that you said that you would not normally have considered military life for you. And Jenny Lynn, you mentioned something very similar. So I'm curious. How did you get back into the military? Jen?
Jen Amos 3:29
Oh, goodness, gracious. Yeah. So you know, obviously, as a you know, as a recap, I didn't want to be associated with it whatsoever. My perspective in my 20s, or in actually, in my young, my very young 20s, while I was in college was oh, like, like, even straight out of high school. You know, the perception is like, Oh, you join the military, if you have nothing else, or if you became a college dropout. You know, I had a good friend who, who like didn't realize, like the days of his finals, you know, in college. So he missed he missed his finals, because he didn't know. And obviously, he failed his classes. And so that's how he joined the military. And then, you know, Now, fast forward to today. He's been in it for I think about a decade now, actually. So I had this perception at the time that went in one It took my dad, you know, to, I thought that it was kind of that, you know, backup plan if college didn't work out for you. Yeah, just just that traumatic experience for me to be like, I just don't want to be associated with that community. When I met my husband, however, you know, he is a West Point grad. He was an Army officer. You know, he his class, his West Point class actually graduated the year that 911 Hit 911 happened when I had met him. And this is like, well, after like he He's already a veteran at the point that I had met him. He gave me a different perspective on the military community. I realize that not everyone joins the military just for employment opportunities. Some people join the military because they want to be a part of something greater than themselves. They want to be you know, they want to give back they want to put Take the country that they love. And, and he was the first person to really show that to me, and in a sense helped me kind of reach, reframe or rewrite my history in regards to like, What did my dad's sacrifice really mean for me and my family. And so he had already been working in the military community, he happened to transition out of the military while he was in Germany, and the only way for him to stay there. Because he was he was dating a German opera singer at the time. Fun story, he talks about it all the time in his own stuff. So I'll let him share that you can look him up later. But he the only way for him to really stay was to get into finance. So he was a Fiat, he worked for a financial firm that happened to have the marketplace in regards to working directly with the military community. So very early on, he got to see the clear difference between providing financial education to military community, the military community versus, you know, the civilian community. There's a very, very stark difference in doing that. So when I had met him, it was really interesting, because you know, what I already mentioned, like his, his experience with the military, and then also his understanding of finance, because money wasn't talked about my family unless someone needed it. So that's a whole story in itself. So it's been a really transformative experience to be with someone like him and to also work with him. But yeah, it's really because of him that he got me to really unpack what it meant to be a gold star daughter, because for the longest time I, I minimized it, I didn't see the value. And I didn't know that I felt forgotten. And I even felt ashamed for coming back into the community. Because I was like, Well, I'm not an active duty, like, I'm not a military spouse, like, I'm a gold star daughter from 20 years ago, like who am I to come back into the space. And so fortunately, and doing holding down the fort and CO hosting with Jenny Lynn, and having all these amazing conversations in the community, it's really gotten me to feel like have more conviction and a sense of responsibility to show up as I am, and to serve this amazing community that I was born into.
That is amazing. Wow. And Jenny Lynn, you kind of already touched upon your military love story. But you mentioned that you work really, you're, you know, your main focus is on military, spouse mental health, and things like that. I would love to know why did you start that journey? What What was it for you? And and what have you gotten out of the experience?
Jenny Lynne Stroup 7:33
Oh, man, well, I'm using the word journey is the absolute right word for that. You know, I It's funny, Jen. And I talk a lot about like, oh, we have all these degrees that we aren't really using and like, how did we end up where we are at I mean, for me, I now work for the Cohen veterans network in military mental health, because my own military family has mental health was really crummy. My husband did a really hard deployment to Afghanistan, came home and 25 days after his feet hit American soil, we moved duty stations, and we moved to a duty station with zero military support, like we were one of one Navy families in the area. And so that was really difficult. Like there was no in like, support system, like we have now in a fleet concentration area. You know, and so I watched his mental health decline and in you know, and kind of in tandem, also mind because I couldn't, I didn't really know what was going on, I couldn't control what was going on. And we had two young children. And so you know, my own family has been on a journey of getting back to better and getting, you know, having really good mental health. And that has involved a lot of therapy, both, you know, individual and as a couple and as a family. And as a Navy family who has a service member who went to Afghanistan, we're kind of an anomaly like, you know, there's no water in Afghanistan. There's no ships like hanging out there. So my husband actually went as a individual Augmentee with the army. So it's a weird it's a weird flex for Navy family to go Yeah, we did an appointment to Afghanistan. And so we have this kind of like, even within the Navy community, awkward understanding of like, why we went down this mental health journey and what Afghanistan kind of, you know, brought brought to our laps, but as we got healthier, and as we sought help, I started sharing my story with other military spouses mostly in like, small groups. I was in you know, I was on the leadership team of a mops group, mothers of preschoolers. And, you know, we were in San Diego at the time. And so 90% of our mom's groups were also other military spouses because it's a huge fleet concentration area. And I realized that I would start sharing what I was seeing in my home or feelings and emotions that I was having, and watching heads not and you know, After I'd shared three, four or five times, I would have people come up to me and go, hey, something similar like, happened in my house. And I didn't, I didn't want to tell anybody, because I don't know what to do about it. But since you talked about it, like, I can come tell you, you may not have all the answers, but at least I feel like I can share that. And you know, know that you aren't going to do it, you know, you aren't going to take my information to do anything with it. And also, like you're just a confidant. And so I continue to share within my circles and continue to talk with my friends. And, you know, a position became available to be the outreach coordinator at the San Diego clinic for the Cohen veterans network. And I was like, Do you know who is the best person to do that someone who has gone on a mental health journey and seen the blink, the good effects of really good treatment in their lives, and also someone who is part of the community we serve. And so that's how I got here. And that's why I remain like, so committed to what I do, because I am, I am my company's target market. I know that because I've sought good mental health treatment. And so have my friends, you know, and so it's, it's important to me to be in the community that I love so much, offering them a good resource to help them and their families get back to better.
I love that I fully believe that mental health is something that has a stigma all on its own. But then you enter a military community, and it has like a stigma within a stigma, you know, and it's like, shoved down. So far, we've talked about this. On so many episodes, we have an episode on what is anxiety? And what is depression? And how can you tell the symptoms and you know, different treatment options. And there's no right or wrong answer to those treatment options, but they're there. That one was with Candace, I'll put the link in the show notes. But we have had so many conversations about mental health and about this concept of well, I can't tell anybody that my spouse is struggling, because he'll get his wings clipped or other things. And it just breaks my heart. How many people need what you have to offer, and in the support, and just a listening ear sometimes, and feel so scared to get it. So I feel for you as someone who also recently went through a Afghanistan deployment with my spouse, and he came home and within two months, the entire world shut down for COVID. So, you know, not quite the same story. But I know we've talked before about how similar you know, our paths have crossed. So my heart is there. And I feel I feel so strongly about that. So what was the inspiration, Jen for holding down the fort. And then Jenny Lynn, what made you decide to be a co host? I'm so entranced with this thought, because I don't have a co host. So fun. And I'm not sure if it would be fun, or if I never get anything done. Because it's fun. So I would love to know the inspiration first.
Jen Amos 13:13
Yeah. Yeah, basically. So my colleagues and I, us, but wealth, first and foremost, are all men and veterans. So when we decided that we were not decided, but as we started working together and wanting to work specifically with military families, I found this huge disconnect in the way that my colleagues would talk to military couples. So typically, what would happen, and this is not to knock anything with my company in any way. But you know, one of our colleagues, and I'm not going to name call anyone, so I'm just going to generalize this, but one of our colleagues will be talking directly to the service member or directly to the veteran. And, you know, the veteran or servicemember be like, Yeah, I'm all for it. Let's do it. And then come decision, they come like signing the paperwork, they finally bring on their spouse. And the spouse is like, what's going on? Like, what is this? And and basically, at the end, like, a lot of times, we have come to find that, you know, the solutions didn't fall through for that couple, because the service member or the veteran brought in their significant other the most important person in their life at the very last minute, at the very end. And so that was interesting for me very early on. I was like, Where, where is that disconnect coming from? Well, first and foremost, you know, the colleagues that I work with all of them, to my knowledge, you know, they didn't have a family while they were active duty there. A lot of them are fortunate to kind of go through it single or meet their spouses after just like how my husband and I met after his service. And so there were there was already that disconnect. And so for me, I was like, Well, you know, this is where my story of being a gold star, family member comes into the picture that I didn't know was significant. My dad, I mean, we were a career military family. My dad served for 18 and a half years and I was a part of it for 10 years and So that's when I realized the worth in my own story is like knowing firsthand that struggle of moving every two to three years of ruining your life, you know, starting over. That is like I remember, you know, one of my colleagues would be like, how come? How come the spouse doesn't quote unquote, get it? You know, quote, unquote, and I was like, How come? How come they don't take time to focus on long term planning? And what I have come to learn an LLC? Now, the answer I learned is well, because they're busy things going on. However, I wouldn't have known that I hadn't been for holding down the fort. So hold down the floor, it really came out of this desire to understand our families today, you know, again, I was 20 years removed. My my colleagues didn't know anything about what it was like to have a military family while in service. And so that's really where it came from was like, Okay, what, what is going on? Why is there that disconnect? And so that's how the show started. I mean, at first, like, it was interesting, because literally, when I started, I generalized it, I was like, I'm just going to interview anyone that's military connected military affiliated, or for the military community. But here we are, you know, five seasons later about to wrap up season five, we've really honed down on focusing on career military families. And and I'll transition now to Jenny Lynn, to my luck, Jenny Lynn happened to obviously be an active duty military spouse, but also career coming from a career military family perspective. And so that's so that's a little bit about the history where we started, I'll turn it over to genuine now to share why she decided to say yes, to me, my co host.
Jenny Lynne Stroup 16:35
Well, thank you, and I'm totally gonna put word to mouth. I was her favorite guest. And she asked me Um, no, I mean, the truth is, is like, most good decisions in my life, it was one of those I got the holding down the fort podcast newsletter, there was a blurb in there about, hey, hold down, the fort is looking for a co host. I emailed Jen back and went, what are you looking for? And she went, I mean, I run it like, oddly you and I was like, okay, and it was this very, like, loose agreement of like, hey, we'll record a few episodes, we'll see how it goes. If you like it, great. If you don't great if we don't mesh, well, you know, no harm, no foul. And here we are, you know, three full seasons in and, you know, we've been able to both grow the podcast and kind of hone in on the, you know, the target market and who we want to be and build a community. Because I think what people see in us is like, we represent so many facets of the military community, that can't just be represent. I mean, I am very involved with military spouse community, I have zero experience as a military kid or a veteran. And so, you know, I think we we bring kind of all of those aspects together. But yeah, I mean, I came on because I answered a newsletter and was like, Sure, why not? That sounds great.
Jen Amos 18:02
And, you know, I told genuine that, like, I really just need a soundboard. You know, I really just need someone to like, kind of bounce ideas off of and share their perspective. Because, you know, it can be a lonely journey, especially if you're an independent podcaster to do this. It's a lot of work, you know, and sometimes, what's the greatest one of the greatest things I appreciate about Jenny Lynn is that she sees things that, like, I can't pay attention to, because I'm so forward thinking, I'm always focused, like, Okay, where can where does it? Where's the show gonna go next, and focusing on kind of the day to day of getting getting it out there, but she gets to see the little things, or even remind me, for example of the holidays and military, military related holidays that I didn't even know like, I didn't even know, I think it was in some time, I'll have to, I won't say the exact date, but I didn't even Yeah, I didn't know like the exact day for like, Goldstar family day, for example, I didn't know that as a Gold Star family member, you know, so genuinely, it has been, you know, such a great addition, you know, for that to be able to show me to remind me, or really, like literally give me first hand holes of the military community today.
I love that. And as someone who has worked with others to collaborate and things like this, we won't go too far into it today, but I would love to know, what was it like letting Jennylyn into your space? And did you guys ever have like, I mean, it seems like just like a match made in heaven? Like, was there any, like, butting heads or any like, actually, I think it should go this way. And, like, kind of changing the dynamic or was it pretty smooth the whole way through? Well,
Jen Amos 19:42
my, my attitude was, was I was gonna, like, say something that really rhymed. It was corny. My attitude was gratitude. I'll just say my attitude is gratitude. I was just grateful because because, you know, kind of going back in time, I really struggled with the imposter syndrome. When I started the show. I was like, how, how is it gold? her daughter, like me, 20 years removed, you know, working with a bunch of guys, you know, veterans, how do I relate to military spouses today? I struggled with that for the first two seasons of the show. And so for me to have someone like Jenny Lynn, you know, happened to pop up in an email reply, who happened to be the ideal person I really wanted to speak to. I was like, wow, I, I think I did something right for someone like genuine to reply. And I think this is just my general attitude with people. And, like, overall, is, I like to meet people where they're at and and see what could come of it. You know. And so that's really how I had personally approached this whole journey with Jenny Lynn. It's like, you know, whatever Jenny Lynn has to share has to add, like I'm here for it. Because this is her reality. This is her story. And I'm just so grateful to have a space to have created a space to be a witness of that. Because I know especially in this military community, talking about stigma with mental health, it is difficult for a lot of us to open up and to have Jenny Lynn feel safe in on our podcast to be as transparent as she always is. Just so y'all know, she cries at least once every episode. Like I'm grateful for that I'm truly grateful for that. We I don't think we butted heads at all genuine, I've just been so grateful for our work together. And I'm so glad I'm so glad you've trusted me and even want to support and continue to get more involved and bring people on the show. It just means it just means the world to me.
I get a lot of questions or a lot of comments rather from other business owners who are like, man, you know, I've considered getting someone to just help carry the load, right of a business or a platform or something like that. Like, I would love to just have somebody, but I'm scared or nervous to do that. Jenny Lynn, as someone who came in to the situation after it was already created, do you have any advice for anybody if they're considering bringing on somebody?
Jenny Lynne Stroup 22:02
Yeah, I mean, one thing, and Jen said it too, like, I mean, I started our first recording with very much an imposter syndrome to like, who am I to show up with a microphone and like, talk on this podcast that people already listened to. And so they're, you know, I think coming at it with equal amounts of gratitude and humility was really kind of what it came down to, for me. And Jen and I are very, like, we just have meshed well. And we like, we have an understanding of like, what our roles are, and also where they can crossover. So for anyone who's ever been on who's ever been on the show, they've heard me say, 1000 times, like, if you actually need something, don't email me. Like, I am not the I'm not the one that handles any of this. If you have a question about military, mental health, or my personal life, or you know, something that I can personally help you with great email, if you have a question about the show, that is not, that is not where I couldn't, that's not my strength on holding down the fort. Like, my strength is bringing people on and helping create community within the holding down the fort community. And that's just kind of how we worked it. And, you know, to this point, like Jen and I bounce, I mean, I come to Jen with a good long list of IDEA fairy things that have come to me in the middle of the night, and I'll text them out and send them to her. And, you know, we'll meet and have, um, company meetings here and there on Zoom. Hopefully, in person soon, what's yours. Um, but, uh, you know, I think it's really like, I can only show up as who I am with what I bring to the table. And what I bring to the table is a great depth of community and relationships. I'm not ever going to bring the tech aspect that is not my jam, plugging in my microphone, and turning on Zoom is really the extent of my technical capabilities. And so that's really where we have, you know, where we have been able, I think, to both work together, and then, you know, both grow in relationship and grow, grow the podcast.
What I'm really hearing come through that I think is just so beautiful, is that you guys both came into this with an open mind with an understanding that the other person has value that you want to bring to the, to the platform, and really just allowing that to unfold and just kind of see what happens and it seems like what it was before and what it is now is almost like completely different. It's, it's, you know, it's completely developed around the two of you, instead of trying to make Jenny Lynn fit the mold of what it used to be. Does that seem about right?
Jen Amos 24:41
Yeah, um, I always, you know, I've been an entrepreneur for a decade now and my favorite you know, my attitude is build as you go. It's always been like that. It's like build as you go build things, right? Not fast. And yeah, I've just I've just always seen it that way. I mean, I you know, I started this show because cuz I just had this general curiosity of what was going on in military community. And Jenny Lynn just helped add to that. And I'm like, Oh, this is really this is like, this is really happening. Like, this is her life, this is her story. These are the relationships that she's bringing on to the show. And this is their story. And I think that, I think that if you just allow in a way, and in a way, if you just kind of allow life to happen, and allow yourself to be a part of it, and not be so in control of it, you'll surprise yourself. You know, I like I'm at a place now where it's interesting, because I'm at a place now where like, you know, genuine knows, and a couple of people know that I'm planning on coming back to Virginia Beach. And, you know, I'm hoping that it's going to be a long term place to live. And having that background as a military child moving around, often, the scariest thing for me to do is to settle somewhere, you know, and so now, it's really interesting to explore that stage in my life of like, what if I want to stay here, what if I want to, like, own whatever I'm going to live at, you know, like, and fortunately, I have the community here, I'm so grateful to have allowed our past guests to come as they are, and let them share their stories, because it's not just about them sharing, there's, I mean, there's, I'm so glad they share their stories, because yes, it's a value to our listeners, but it's also a value to me, it, it gives me perspective and understanding that I am a value too, and I could route myself somewhere if I wanted to. And I have the community who has that experience in that mindset to, to know how to do that, despite having been in a very chaotic environment and kind of a chaotic upbringing.
It's an invaluable amount of mental awareness and clarity that you guys will bring in order to make that work. And I think that coming from a background where I had a co host of sorts, not for the podcast, but for something else, and it didn't work out. And learning a lot from that experience. I love what you guys brought into it and made it work. And I think that anybody considering hiring or bringing on somebody, that kind of open, open mind is just so important.
Jen Amos 27:12
So I also want to add that, you know, there are people who could take advantage of your generosity and niceness, that's definitely something I've learned in the recent weeks, thanks to therapy is that I am a very overly generous person. I had a I had a past experience where I did prep to have another co host for another show. And last minute, we had a fallout because, you know, their their feelings were hurt about something completely unrelated to co hosting with me. And it was really upsetting to me, because it's like, I basically rolled out the red carpet for you to do this with me. And we prepare this for months ahead of time. And then last minute, you're like, oh, but you know, I don't want bad energy on the show, you know, last minute. And so I think that, yeah, like, it's important to be open minded. But it's also important to be aware of, like, the reason why I like I appreciate Jenny Lynn is because our generosity and our niceness and our kindness to each other is greatly reciprocated, at least from my perspective. I don't feel like Jenny Lynn is taking advantage of me. And I hope she doesn't think I'm taking advantage of her. It's very much like you give what you get. And that's one thing I've had to learn later in my adult life is like, not everyone appreciates niceness, not everyone appreciates generosity, not everyone appreciates, you know, just putting yourself out there for someone else and rolling out a red carpet for them. Some people will actually take advantage of that or take that for granted. So that's something to keep in mind as well as for people who are if you're a quote unquote, nice person, to honor your boundaries and pick up early on if you feel like someone is taking advantage of you. And fortunately for Jenny Lynn, and I feel like we've had a very mutual reciprocal relationship. Well,
Jenny Lynne Stroup 28:55
I mean, let's let's be honest about how we both got to that. I mean, again, we talked about mental health a lot like you and I have put in the work like, yeah, let it be said that a partnership is only as good as the two individuals and Jen and I have put in the work in therapy and personal growth and reading and lots of things. And so we work, I cannot think of an issue that we've actually had and had to overcome. Because inevitably, in any relationship, there will come a time where there's a sticking point, but we have both put in enough work on ourselves individually to go, Hey, we can work through this. And so I think that, you know, if people are curious about working with others, like look at how to Jim's point like look at how they treat others look at how they treat themselves and like if it's not great, they're not going to be a great partner. Like you have to be sure that as an individual they are. They're healthy. Yes, I agree. I love
that and something else that I pulled from that is do your research. Look up these people and know who they are. Look at who they're connected to and all that. It astounds me the amount of people who don't realize that you never know who you're talking to, or who knows who you're talking to, you know, the networking and the connections that I have made just because I make a good impression on somebody. And then I get a message later that's like, Oh, hey, I talked to so and so who talked to you three months ago, and I love you already, like, let's connect. It's amazing, you know, just on the, the frontal part of that of like, show up in the space, every day, the best that you can, and always 100 Because you never know who you're talking to. And that allows other people to do the research and come to you and be like, hey, you know, I think we'd be great at collaborating. Let's, let's talk. So, I love that. All right, how can people listen to holding down the fort? And how can they connect with you guys online?
Jen Amos 30:50
Yeah, well, we are available on all major podcasting platforms. So Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, you name it, the best place to get started is to check out our website holding down the Fords podcast.com. If you want to get a hold of Jenny Lynn and I, it's a long email. But it's pretty easy. It's Jen J. N, adds hold now the Ford podcast.com. And Jenny Lynn has recently gotten her official email with us, Jenny Lynn at holding down the forts podcast.com. But of course, we also have, you know, lives outside of what we do in the podcast. So you know, Jenny Lynn is a writer and a blogger. So genuine would be like to you promote your blog or anything else. Anything else you want to share with Brett's community?
Jenny Lynne Stroup 31:30
Yeah, I mean, they can both find us on all the social media platforms at holding down the fort podcast on everywhere you look. And then individually, just look up our names. My blog is my name Jennylyn stroup.com. I write about a lot of the things that we talked about on the podcast, living living a life of mental health and spirituality and it smack dab in the middle of like what the military throws at you. So we'd love for you to connect with us on any of the platforms through any of the you know, whether personally or through the podcast,
and all of those links will be in the show notes. Okay, so this question is really near and dear to my heart, because I recently posted something before Season Three started, and I mentioned how we should continuously be learning and growing. No matter where we are in our entrepreneurship journey. This is something I'm so passionate about, because it doesn't matter if you're on day zero. Or if you're on day 1000. You should always be learning and growing, or you are learning and growing, whether it's through a course or a coach, or just in life, you're like, hey, I read this book, and it made me think, Man, I need to work on this. So I would love to know, what are you guys learning right now?
Jenny Lynne Stroup 32:42
intentional learning, I am actually working with a leadership coach right now. Because I have had a really hard time seeing myself as a leader like there are lots of things that I do that just feel inherent to who I am. But to put the title leader on it and to take ownership of the way that I do things is in fact leading other people was a difficult concept for me to like land on. And so I have been working with a leadership coach, that is something intentional that I like pay money for and signed up to do unintentionally I am relearning how much CBD is very different than shore duty and how different it is having children that are 10 and 12 versus like one and two, and just how to like, be flexible enough to several days a week be a single parent to like, then have a partner one day a week to then go back to doing the single thing. Learning that flexibility and not like holding on to the anger and resentment that come with doing it alone most of the time is something that I am being reminded of that I need to keep relearning. I love it
Jen Amos 33:55
a lot. I love it for us. I love it. You know what, what I've been learning lately, I realized that I legitimately have anxiety. Okay. So like what I what I mean is that I used to think that anxiety was just like a feeling, you know, like, you're sad, or you're happy or angry? No, it's like a physical feeling. You know, like, I legitimately have anxiety like I like I'm on edge. I'm always kind of like, you know, there's just I just realized that. And so what I've also learned and now acknowledging that I have anxiety. And this has been hard for me, actually, for the last two years now since people have been recommending me to this and I keep pushing it away, because I think it's stupid, and it's a waste of time. I have been opening up to meditation. And so I want to share a free free app with everyone. I don't get paid to talk about this Insight Timer is a real it's a free meditation app. And if anyone has a hard time getting to meditation, they have a lot of free guided meditations and I find for me right now for someone who's like, you know, anti meditation, actually liking it. I was like, I like that I can just sit there and someone can tell me how to meditate. and how to like, even in 10 minutes, like 10 minutes makes such a difference. Part of like the catalyst for me to do this is I actually had chest pains and like about two weeks ago, and I was having a hard time getting out of bed, and it got me to realize like, Okay, I gotta, I gotta actually find a way to calm down this anxiety. And so I'm learning to meditate right now. And it's, let me tell you, like I've been doing for two weeks. And, like, I feel so calm, like, I think like, my anxiety has reduced, like dramatically, and just taking literally 10 minutes within my day to listen to someone tell me how to meditate. So yeah, that's the biggest thing I've been learning is, is meditation, and I've been pushing it away forever. And I'm like, don't tell me meditations. Don't tell me. I know what you're gonna say. Don't tell me. And now I'm doing it. So for everyone that's pushing me do it. You're welcome. Thank you. It's really helpful. So there you go.
I love that because I always thought that anxiety was super super evident. I thought it was panic attacks. And I thought it was needing an inhaler like an asthma attack situation. Like I had this concept of anxiety. And it was actually through that episode with Candace she was walking through like, these are signs of anxiety, and like, this is signs that you need help. And it was literally during the podcast interview that I realized that I had anxiety from my husband's deployment. And learning that through a recorded interview was very intimidating. For me, it was very eye opening for me. But it literally changed everything once I realized what was happening. So I love that self awareness. Jennylyn. I love your focus on leadership and owning that, right, like owning that space. I think that that is so cool. All right. I have one final question for you guys. How do you guys collectively embrace being a source a light? For anybody in the military space? How do you guys show up and be an inspiration in the military community,
Jenny Lynne Stroup 37:07
it is just showing up fully myself. I could not do the things I do for Cohen veterans network or for the podcast, if I wasn't authentically me. And so my hope is that whether you've read my writing, or you know, seeing a social media post where I was transparent, or listen to the podcasts like that, what you got from that is a oh my gosh, I'm not alone, or, you know, oh, here's a really good resource, or you know, just something but none of it would be a light or good for the community, if I wasn't honest about where I'm at, and transparent about the things that have happened to the extent that you can be, you know, on the internet. But that being said, I'm a pretty open book, I'm willing to talk about most things, especially hard things. I'm not going to talk with you about the weather, but you won't talk about hard things. I'm your girl, you know, and I hope that especially what we do with the podcast is create that space for people to have that and then as they listen, go, okay, good. Like other people can talk about this. And this gives me the courage to do the same.
Jen Amos 38:16
Yeah, totally. That was Liz, same thing I was gonna say, was, is to show up part of being a leader showing up. I don't have to be the sharpest tool in the shed, I just have to be in the shed. I made this joke to my husband the other day, and he was like, That's hilarious. It's like, Yeah, I mean, how do you be that beacon of light in a fog, you just, you just be that light, like you just show up? Right? You don't have to be the perfect light, you don't have to be the best light, you just have to be a light, you have to turn it on in the fog. And so I completely agree. I second everything Jenny, Lynn said, the sheer power in showing up they say I mean, I don't know who came up with this statistic. But they said 80% of success is showing up. And I believe it, you know, I believe in just showing up and being that beacon of light for other people just because you exist and you're showing up unapologetically. So yeah,
I love that though being just being in the shed. Right? I think a lot of people, they're scared to start because it has to be perfect. Or because other people have similar ideas. They can't show up in the space, or, you know, because this already exists somewhere else, or I'm not as good as this person that we just kind of we don't even open the door to the shed. Right? Yeah. And so I love that analogy of you don't have to be the sharpest tool in there. You just have to be in there and showing up. And honestly, the only way to get to be the sharpest is to show up and to be there and to continue to grow and change and educate yourself. So I love it. This episode was full of incredible insights. It was full of amazing analogies and great quotes. And I'm just so thankful that you guys could join me this morning. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
Jenny Lynne Stroup 39:57
Thanks for having us.
Jen Amos 39:58
Yeah, thanks for having us, Brett.