It finally happened, listener: I got my first "you're overweight - go for a run" comment on a reel I did a few weeks ago. At first I was crushed, but then I used it to motivate me to create this podcast episode. We all have moments, if not all the time, that we feel like we can't show up in fear of being judged, called fat (or worse), and we choose to hide ourselves instead of showing up because of that fear. Episode 127 of the Moments with an MEO podcast is about showing up on social media for your business even when you don't feel confident in your appearance.
In this episode I talk about:
- My personal experience with being called fat on social media.
- The one phrase I have been really leaning into to help me love myself first.
- When it's time to show up, and when you shouldn't show up, and why it matters.
Connect with Britt:
Instagram @new_altitudes or @milsobox
Check out MilSO Box here: www.milsobox.com
other people's opinions of you shouldn't matter. And they certainly should not matter more than your opinion of you. And nobody else can judge me, and nobody else can judge you except you.
All righty guys, welcome to another solo episode. Today we are talking about something that I think a lot of us struggle with, and a lot of us don't want to talk about. And that is how to show up when we don't like ourselves or our bodies. I'm coming to you with this because I also struggle with this, I was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which, if anybody doesn't know what that is, it's basically where my thyroid does not produce enough thyroid hormone. And the thyroid hormone is responsible for things like fertility, which is actually how we found out. But it's also linked to things like metabolism. So in the last year and a half, I have gained almost 75 pounds. And I've always been super thin, I work out six days a week for at least two hours a day. I eat fairly healthy, not perfect, but fairly healthy. But I am in a very stressful work environment all the time what entrepreneur isn't right. And so I struggle with my body image. When I tell my clients this, a lot of them raise their eyebrows or are shocked because I show up consistently on my social media. However, it takes a lot of time, it takes a lot of energy, it takes a lot of courage, it takes a lot of a lot in order to show up. And so whether you have a pristine body, but sometimes you break out, like around your time of the month, or whether you just feel pretty self conscious about how you look or how you look, since you had that baby or whatever it is maybe the hairdresser fried your hair, dyeing it too much, and you hate how your hair looks or who knows what it is that's going on in your brain. Today, I'm going to be talking about how to show up on social media, even though you don't necessarily feel great about how you look on social media. And I'm going to start by saying that sometimes people are for lack of a better word, they can be extremely nasty. Two days ago now, I got multiple comments and private messages from someone. They had commented on a real idea telling me to go for a run. He had also commented on another real saying chubby slash overweight. And the first thing I did was laugh because when I'm uncomfortable, I tend to laugh. I just kind of rely on comedy. Maybe that's the trauma from my past, I don't know. But the first thing I did was laugh. The second thing I did was screenshot it. And I thought about posting it on my social media and being like, oh my gosh, this person's a jerk. But I didn't instead I just blessed and blocked which is what I like to do with people who are nasty people who aren't meant for my circle. People who bring a lot of negativity, people who bully I don't handle any of that. You know, I don't give people two strikes when it comes to that. So for me, it was more of like a, I want to save the screenshot as a reminder to myself that I am worth better. But I just blessed him and blocked him. And that's just where that went. I didn't message him back. I just deleted his comments and I moved on with my life. I did send the screenshot to my friend so that I could vent and so that we could, you know, kind of make light of the situation. But it wasn't anything that ever went further than that. I don't bully I hate confrontation. Let's be real. I hate confrontation. Could I have messaged him and told him that he was being a jerk? Yes. Would that have solved anything? No, he's, you know, one of those people that hides behind a screen in order to you know, feel better about himself and that's fine. Or herself if if it's a catfish, who knows? But anyway, I want to share that because I think that's one of our biggest fears. And I know it certainly was one of my biggest fears. What if someone comments and tells me I'm overweight? What if someone comments and tells me that I'm not pretty.
And I recently was editing a podcast. And it's for people going through recovery. So it has nothing to do with with what we're talking about. But her conversation that she was having sparked something in me. And what she really preaches is that other people's opinions of you shouldn't matter. And they certainly should not matter more than your opinion of you. And I really had to let that sink in, she talks about it in almost all of her episodes, I've edited probably, like 20 Plus episodes, and it finally clicked like this past week. So things need to sink in, they need to really resonate. And this just really resonated with me, I know that I'm healthy, I know that I do the best that I can with the tools that I have. I know that I don't necessarily feel comfortable in my body, but I know me. And nobody else can judge me, and nobody else can judge you, except you. No matter what get over the fear that other people are going to judge you because here's the reality of it. We're humans, humans, judge other people literally all the time. It's just what it is, people are going to judge you people are going to judge how you walk, how you talk, how you eat, how you pass gas, how your feet stink, or they don't stink, if you're wearing matching socks, or not. If you are wearing leggings and a T shirt like I am right now, or whether or not you dress up for your office at home, like people are gonna judge you for whether or not you drink iced coffee or hot like, it doesn't matter what you do, people are gonna judge you. So the best thing that you can do for yourself and for your mental health is to get over it as an Enneagram three perception and what others think of me is like really high on my priority list. And I honestly hate it like, I hate that that's part of my personality. It just is. However, I can actually use that and go okay, well, my reputation to me is x. Okay, well, I know I'm a hard worker. So I don't care if somebody else tells me that I'm not working hard enough. I know how hard I work. I know what my healthy boundaries are. And I trust myself to do what I need to do in order to be successful. So it doesn't matter what Sally down the road thinks of me or my business. I know about my business. And that's all that matters, right? So number one thing is get over the fear that others are judging you, because they're always going to judge you like it's just human nature that they're just going to, and they can judge you in a positive way or a negative way. And honestly, if they're judging you in a negative way, you don't want them in your space anyway. Like if you know someone's going to be negative to you, get rid of them. Now. If you know that that aunt that always talks about your way or always talks about how much food you're putting on your plate at Thanksgiving, like girl, bless him block, bless him block. And if she asks you about it, you can just say, You know what, I just felt like, my Instagram wasn't right for you. And that's okay. I just wanted my own space. And I didn't want you there. And that's okay, healthy boundaries are okay. All right. So that's the first thing. The second thing is in relation to social media, I highly recommend that you show up when you feel good. For me, that's typically a couple days after my period, maybe that's TMI. But that's when I feel the least amount of bloat, that's when I feel the most amount of energy. That's when I feel like the most reflection has already passed. If you aren't familiar with the phases of your cycle, you know what I'm talking about, but I just personally feel my best a couple days. After that. I feel lean. I feel like dressing up, I feel like putting on makeup, I feel like showing up.
And so what I like to do is take a couple photos in that phase so that I can use them later on in the month. When I'm like, Oh, I feel really bloated or Oh man, this pimple just popped up or Oh, man, I'm sick. And I don't want to take a photo because I look like death. And I want to post but I don't have a selfie. And I know I should probably post a selfie because who's not posting selfies, and you're putting all these pressures on yourself to post but you don't want to show up like death and you don't want to show up with negative energy because that's going to be reflected subconsciously through your post through your social media. So don't recommend that. I recommend that you show up when you feel good when you've just gone out On a date night with your hubby and you feel sexy, like that's the perfect time to ask him to just snap a couple pics before you leave the restaurant. Or when it's the morning and the sun is coming through the windows at just the right angle, and it's beautiful. And you're just reflecting on how grateful you are about your life. That's a great time to take a selfie. Because you feel good. And when you feel good, you're going to reflect that in your images. And subconsciously people are also going to feel good when they look at it. Okay, so number two is showing up when you feel good and don't show up when you don't. Number three is batch content. This is something that I personally struggled with a lot I hated to batch when I first started, I think I went a year and a half. So about half of the time I've been a business owner, I hated batching. I was like, No, I want to do it in the moment. And then I took some productivity tips from Chelsea Neumeier, who is a productivity coach. And she was talking about how like, Okay, but what if you get sick? And I was like, well, I'll just have to take a photo while I'm doing that. And she was like, Yeah, but should you have to? Should you have to? Just do it on the spot? Should you have to rush through things. And I think this correlates strongly with things other than showing up on social media, about your business, but in relation to your business. Do like, do you have to put that pressure on yourself? Do you have to go oh, well, if I'm sick, if I get the Rona or you know, whatever, like do I have to still take a photo and still put on makeup and still wear that shirt that's always tight right around my week. And now I have to wear it because it's the only thing that is in my closet, and I have to show up, bla bla bla bla bla, no, don't do that to yourself. Do not do that to yourself. So take a couple photos, what I like to do is I'll wear jeans because for my brand jeans are appropriate. And I will have like three shirts. And I will take the same photo and a different pose in the same spot with different shorts on. And that's just because I personally want to show up with different looks and different quote unquote photos even though it's like the same photo. But if you're okay with just showing up and three times that month, you have a post in the exact same outfit, then grow work it that's okay too. There's nothing wrong with that. So I want to say that you don't have to pretend that you're showing up every single day when you're not. And you don't have to pretend that you're not batching content. You can batch content, people are aware that that exists, people don't care. And if they care, bless and block, right. So that's number three is to batch your content just so that just in case, even if you never share those extra two photos, like who cares, you'll have them just in case. And what I have found is that those photos come in handy, like two months down the road. And then it's great.
Number four is that I hope that you realize that the more that you show up consistently, the easier it's going to get. And the less you're going to self critique yourself because we are our own worst critic. And so the more that we show up, the more familiar our brain gets with how we look when we talk to the camera, where our eyes are going to be placed, we're going to remove those arms naturally, because we are talking regularly, and the more you're just going to become comfortable with it because it becomes normal. A great way to do this is to incorporate stories with your current daily habits. And I'm going to do a mini training on my Instagram tomorrow going over the story rollercoaster. So if you are listening to this, well in the future, that's okay, you can go to my Instagram and find that mini training. It'll either be in the highlights or in a real line up when you show up with daily habits you already have. And here's why. If you already have a habit like every morning, you pour your coffee, or every morning you walk your dogs, or every evening before you tuck your kids into bed. You guys all sit down around the living room and read a book. No matter what it is, you're going to discover that it's a lot easier to add on to an existing habit because that momentum is already going it's not like brand new, you know energy having to be thrown out there. And the easier it is to remember to do it which I think is the huge thing. So if you can add showing up to your list when you are already doing something else in your life like drinking coffee If you reading a book, etc, and you do it every day, it's going to be a lot easier to show up consistently, which will again, create normalcy of the situation, and then you'll show up more, or at least be comfortable showing up, if you can add it to a habit that you already do. So that's number four. Lastly, I just want to tell you, that girl, you are beautiful, you're smart, you're strong. And it doesn't matter if your doctor has told you that you're overweight. It doesn't matter if your skin is totally broken out. Or if you've got a giant pimple in the middle of your forehead, and you look like you've got three eyeballs, it doesn't matter if you're bloated today, it doesn't matter. If you've got a rash, or you broke out in hives for something, it doesn't matter if your hair is a mess, or you're not wearing makeup, you are beautiful, and people want to see your face. Something really powerful is human psychology. And so while you're beating yourself up over all these little things, most of the time, like eight out of 10 times, nobody even notices unless you pointed out as an example, I was watching a story with a woman who was talking and I was really into her story. And then all of a sudden she looks at her hair in the camera. And she goes, Oh my gosh, my hair is a mess. Oh my goodness. And she starts trying to fix it. And it totally took me out of the moment. And I'll be honest, I hadn't even noticed her hair. Hadn't I didn't even care I didn't even notice. But she made it such a big deal. I ended up not watching the rest of her stories. And it's because she just took me out of the moment it went from being real to oh my gosh, look at me, oh my gosh, like me pity me, like, it was just over the top and not professional to be honest, not professional. So when it comes to those moments, when you do show up and you've got a giant pimple, or your hair's not done, or you've never haven't done your makeup, or you're maybe you're still in your pajamas, first of all, nobody cares. And second of all, hardly anybody's going to notice. But Third of all, allowing those flaws to show up creates a transparency. And that builds a trusted brand. People look at you and they don't go oh my goodness, you're flawless. They don't go, oh my goodness, she's probably faking it because there's no way her life is that perfect. Instead what they're doing is they're looking at your flaws and going oh man, I also have a giant pimple. Next time you go to beat yourself up or subconsciously tell yourself that you can't possibly show up because of XYZ. Know that you're beautiful. Know that you're smart. Know that what you think of you is the only thing that matters. It's not about what others think of you at all. And as an Enneagram three, I can promise you that that's something I'm still working on. But it's something that we all need to work on. Because it's so true.
Alright guys, that is what I have for you on showing up even when you don't appreciate or feel comfortable in your body. I hope that this helped you if you have tips on how to show up even if whatever then please send me an email new altitudes firstname.lastname@example.org and I will share them in the next episode. Alright guys, have a great rest of your day. Happy Fourth of July. Take care